Can A Man Marry His Sister In Law

Can A Man Marry His Sister In Law – Share Share All Options Dowry is illegal in India. But families, including mine, still look forward to them.

When I was growing up in India, my sister and I used to play the game “What would you do if you had 1 lakh rupees?”

Can A Man Marry His Sister In Law

One lakh rupees, about $1,500, is an unimaginably large amount of money for our youth, which can buy you the entire universe. The game keeps our imagination active during long drives and power outages. Our answers always vary between buying a beach bungalow in another location without power outages or buying a very fast car.

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One day aunt heard us playing this game. He suggested that instead of spending it on “useless things”, we should save our dowry money.

It took all the fun out of the game and we never played it again. Until a few months ago when I found myself playing it with my husband Serini at our home in Seattle.

This time, the stakes are higher, the money isn’t fantastic, and the choices aren’t as clear. We asked ourselves what we would do with half a million dollars. We had to choose between Srini’s dream of retiring in our 40s and paying my sister Priya’s dowry.

According to his careful calculations, the extra $500,000 in our retirement savings will allow us to retire in 12 years, five years earlier than otherwise. But those five years would be filled with the guilt of “ruining Priya’s life,” my mother-in-law warned.

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A dowry is a monetary or kind payment made to the bride during her marriage. The amount depends on many factors, including region, religion, status and sub-caste, the education of the groom, the color of the bride’s skin and the negotiation skills of the two families involved.

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Although dowry has been illegal in India since 1961, it is still widespread. The actual numbers are unknown, but anecdotally, about half of my family and friends’ weddings involve a dowry.

However, crime is rarely reported. According to India’s National Crime Records Bureau, fewer than 10,000 cases of dowry were reported in 2015 in a country with about 10 million marriages a year. Dowry is reported only when the groom’s demands are beyond the reach of the bride’s family. or when the bride was physically abused or, worse, killed, as evidenced by the cases that attracted media attention.

Usually, dowry abuse is triggered by laws preventing domestic violence; In 2015, more than 113,000 women reported violence from their husbands or in-laws, and 7,646 deaths were classified as related to dowry disputes. That’s about 21 women killed every day by their husbands or in-laws because their families can’t meet dowry demands.

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Vyasa Devi is mourning the death of her daughter Meera, who was physically abused during her marriage and kept demanding more dowry from her in-laws. Mira’s in-laws claim she committed suicide by throwing herself into an old well, while her family claims she was murdered. Anne Johansson/Corbis via Getty Images

In April, Serini received the call she had been dreading for the past 10 years. An aunt in Chennai calls to talk about marriage to Priya, who also lives in Chennai. he asked directly. “How much are you willing to give?

Finding your own partner in the arranged marriage system in India is not pleasant. Parents and extended family are responsible for finding you potential partners when you reach marriageable age, which is early to mid-20s for women, mid-20s for women, and late 20s for men.

A marriage arrangement is similar to a company merger. It’s all business, with very little room for feelings like love. So much so that “conjugal love” is often used for marriages that are not arranged by the family. Almost 90 percent of marriages in India are arranged, according to a study by the Brain Institute for Statistical Research.

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The red Telugu community to which Srini belongs is known for the excessive dowry it demands. As the shopping window for potential grooms begins, the uncle on the phone wants to know Sarini’s dowry budget. He expects to hear at least 4 million rubles, equivalent to $585,000.

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Srini’s first reaction was to offer “nothing” as dowry. Our orders have nothing to do with parting with such a large sum of money. They relate to the sexist and regressive ideas we espouse.

Every social studies book I remember from my childhood has this sentence. “Dowry is a social evil.” Often mentioned along with sati

A custom in which a widow raises herself at her husband’s funeral as a sign of loyalty. Amber is in the past. This is accepted as a barbaric practice that must stop.

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My sister and I went to the same school and had the same teachers, even though we were five years apart. We both remember our social studies teacher trying to justify dowry after a lesson on ‘social evils’. The teacher said he would get a dowry for his son, and when the girl got married he would give a dowry. He said it was basic economics that we were too young to understand.

Instead of being considered a crime and a source of shame, the dowry became an object of pride. It is not discretionary as would be expected in a wrongful transfer of assets action. It shines in your face too. We talk about it in family gatherings over coffee. Grooms are often identified by their price. “He works in the US. We gave 4 kroner to my daughter.”

Children are considered assets. There is a strong preference for male children, which has been blamed for years for women’s fertility. (Side note: Fetal sex determination has been illegal in India since 1994. However, the sex ratio in the 0-6 age group continues to decline).

This leaves India with an unbalanced gender ratio. According to the 2011 census, there are 940 women for every 1,000 men. India has 37 million more men than women, making it difficult for men to find suitable brides. In some parts of the country it is customary to separate women from brothers.

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Low supply and high demand should tip the scales in favor of women. However, there was no significant decrease in the dowry market.

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According to the study, dowry has become an institutionalized and inseparable part of marriage in India. The social and economic reality rarely prevents this.

Kashmiri Muslim students march during International Women’s Day in Srinagar, India, March 8, 2012. Yabar Nazir/Getty Images

Education is often recognized as a cure for social ills and inequality. But studies show that educated grooms tend to demand higher dowries. Education is reduced to another factor that determines your market rate.

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Better education usually means higher earning potential. An educated groom can spend it for a good increase in the dowry. On the other hand, an educated woman can be punished for it. Arranged marriage contracts do not allow a woman to earn more than her husband. A woman with a high salary is like a man with a higher salary who orders an extra dowry because of his income.

The reports we received about the dowry are very mixed. On one side the book and then all the people who talk about dowry as an inevitable and natural ritual for women.

But thanks to our feminist mother and a steady diet of Malayalam films about women killed in a gas balloon explosion for not meeting dowry requirements, I never had a film, doubt where I am.

Satya Rani Chadha, who has become the face of India’s anti-dowry movement, is waging a 34-year legal battle to get justice for her daughter, who was killed in an oil furnace explosion following a dowry dispute. Pradeep Gaur/Mint via Getty Images

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Growing up in a middle class family in India, I was convinced that my parents not having a son was the greatest tragedy that had ever befallen them. Strangers identified with my parents, knowing they had two daughters and no sons. If my father did something that could be considered irresponsible, his sister would remind him that he had two daughters. He has debts. He can’t afford to cheat.

Our parents are often accused of not looking out for our best interests. Our mother was told by well-meaning elders to curb our independence and save for our marriage instead of buying us video games and computers.

It was not uncommon for my mother to receive a phone call from an uncle who had just read about the drop in the price of gold in the morning paper, urging her to “invest now in your daughters’ future.”

When my sister decided to deviate from the path of engineering or medicine, the only two career options given to children in my family, strangers warned:

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