Why Is Communication Important In A Marriage

Why Is Communication Important In A Marriage – September 29, 2015 October 25, 2022 Charlene Maugeri Leave a Comment on Why Communication Is So Important In Marriage

A few weeks ago, I posted a post about how it’s perfectly okay to have a husband. The more I thought about this post, the more I realized I needed more. Yes, it is perfectly fine to have a spouse, but it is very important to specify what needs you have. If I keep saying “I need you” to Pearson, it might make me feel better, but it can also get old pretty quickly. And if I’m not more specific and show him, he probably doesn’t really know what that means.

Why Is Communication Important In A Marriage

When I was in Atlanta for #MrsMaugeriInTheOffice last week, I didn’t feel like Pearson and I were communicating well. Since it’s private, I won’t divulge details. But we were both wrong. I decided to say straight up what was bothering me over the phone without sugarcoating it. Had I waited a few more days until I got home, I probably wouldn’t have told him and it would have continued to be a problem. Similarly, sugar coating won’t really solve the problem.

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Sometimes it is a must for a wedding. Arguments will arise from time to time. Sometimes your feelings get hurt. But if you tell each other what you need and want in your relationship and are honest about what’s bothering you, you’ll be much better off in the long run!

During the phone call Pearson said he had no idea I felt this way and was very glad I brought it up! He has no idea! At first I was surprised because it was so obvious. But I remembered that Pearson is not a mind reader, he is a different person than me, he evaluates some things differently, he reacts differently to some things, and in many areas they are not very similar. It is okay! If we were exactly alike, our marriage would probably be pretty boring!

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But this is why communication in a marriage is so important! Marriage, by definition, is the union of two different people in one flesh. Two people from two different backgrounds with different personalities, experiences, needs, desires, likes and tastes, etc. are now trying to live a single life. There will be disagreements. There will be misunderstandings. But through it all, we must communicate with each other and help each other understand what is happening in our respective worlds.

Yes, I know that’s easier said than done. I was there. And I’m certainly not perfect. If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I have a really hard time telling Pearson the things that bother me. I usually prefer to bottle it up rather than bother him with problems. Last week I barely addressed this. But this is not good!

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The next time you feel frustrated in your marriage, remember that your husband is a different person and communicate your demands to him in a loving and respectful way!

I’m a millennial wife and fur mom living in Oregon. I am passionate about marriage and continue to do so. We believe that it is possible to have a marriage that can withstand anything that comes our way, and it just takes a little effort. And believe me your wedding is worth it! Communication is on every list of marriage advice and list of qualities of a good marriage. And that’s right. Communication is very important.

My husband and I have learned a few things about effective communication in our 21 years of marriage. We’re not perfect and we still make mistakes, but we know a lot more about communication now than we did the day we said “I do.”

Married couples have so many things to discuss: relationships, finances, childcare, chores and schedules.

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Along with being honest with each other, whether it’s a serious conversation or a casual conversation, we’ve learned that there are right and wrong ways to communicate well.

My husband knows me better than anyone. So he is not fooled when I say the right thing but in the wrong tone. Being passive aggressive or sarcastic is not good for communication.

I found this to be true even when I wanted to take care of him. For example, when I cook for other people, if I ask him what I can make for lunch, I can easily say that I am confused or genuine. The way I speak makes all the difference.

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This goes well with the first one, but body language conveys a lot. I’ve often said that I’m pretty good at controlling my tongue, but sometimes I have a hard time controlling my face. Especially since my husband knows me well too. He can tell if I’m upset or irritated by my face and behavior.

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Our spouses can also use our body language to tell if we are really listening to them or if we are distracted.

Early in my marriage, I learned that you can avoid arguments just by asking my husband if it’s a good time to talk. He does the same for me. Then you can do anything to put away your electronics or watch someone else.

This continued to help me work from home. We share an office. Throughout the day, we usually have to talk to each other about something, and first we ask if it’s a good time or if someone else lets us know when we have free time. It creates good communication from the start, even about small things like the children’s plans for the day.

Another lesson I learned about communication early in my marriage is that I can’t expect my husband to know what I didn’t tell him. Instead of assuming he knows what’s important to me, I tell him.

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I also learned that he doesn’t always know what’s bothering me or what I’m wondering, unless I tell him. He can almost always tell me something is going on, but sometimes he can’t be there for me unless I let him in by telling him what’s going on in my head.

Communication very quickly turns into an argument if you bring up an accusatory phrase. We all go on the defensive when we feel attacked. “Why don’t you cook dinner? I have to do everything here!” “I’m overwhelmed and need help. Can you cook me dinner on Tuesday and Thursday?”

You will get what you want, but you don’t have to argue to get there. Your spouse will understand what is happening to you and how he can help. We have opened the door to communication wide open so that we can really share with each other.

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I know what irritated the man the most, just as he knows the same about me. The best we can do is not use it during disagreements. I don’t want to break a trust that is hard to get back.

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Another rule we made from the beginning of our marriage is that if either of us talks about divorce, it’s better to be honest. I think we don’t want to throw out threats we don’t mean. We can be angry and disagree, but we don’t want to cause lasting damage to our marriage and relationship.

It is important to be aware of what we say with our words and gestures, but communication cannot happen without listening. And it sounds much easier than it actually is!

When my husband talks about something important, I do my best to actively listen and pay attention, rather than waiting my turn or formulating an answer in my head.

Sometimes it’s not a good time to have a conversation or move on. You may get so upset that you may say something you will regret if the conversation continues. Or maybe you’re too distracted to listen properly. You may be too tired to carry on a conversation. Talk to each other and agree to come back to the topic, and do it!

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Often the best time to talk about things is right before bed because the kids don’t wake up and interrupt us. But I’m not a night person. Some nights I’m literally too tired to have a good conversation about serious topics. When you are tired, you are irritable and your emotions are much lighter. (Who wouldn’t?!) I chose to tell my husband that I would like to have a discussion, but I can’t right now. And then we’ll find a better time to talk later.

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